God's Address

July 31, 2009, 5:00 pm

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A poor man sat begging outside a temple.

In the name of Bhagwan give this hungry man some money to fill his belly,? he cried. "Bhagwan will bless you."

But the devotees gave him very little. In disgust the beggar left the temple and sat outside a country liquor shop.

"A few paise in the name of Bhagwan" he whined.

As customers came out of the shop in high spirits, many dropped rupee notes in his bowl.

Thanking God, the beggar said: "Hey Bhagwan, truly inscrutable are thy ways! You give one address but live in another"

---

Desi Jokes Collection 1

July 31, 2009, 5:00 pm

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Om Shanti Om ka dialogue students ke andaz me

Itni shiddat se maine pas hone ki koshish ki hai,
K har teacher ne muje marks na dene ki sazish ki h,
agar tum kisi papr me pas hona chahate ho,
to sari kaynanta tume usme pas karane me lag jati hai,
ye xams b hindi flimo ki tarah hi hote hai,
end tk sab kuch acha ho jata hai

Aur agar aisa na hota to xams abi khatam nahi hua

.
.
.
Ek aur saal bahi hai mere dost!

                ******************

Toot gayi mere dil ki deewar brick by brick

Toot gayi mere dil ki deewar brick by brick

SO WHAT

Chutki me chipkaye FEVIWIK

               ******************

Height of BINDASNESS

Finishing d paper & coming out of the exam hall and asking

.

.

.

.

"Kuan sa subject that woh?"

                 ***********************

Teacher: What is ur caste?

Student: Pehle hum Singh they,
Fir Rajput hue,
Fir Sharma ho gaye,
Abhi hai Darzi,
aage Mummy ki marzi

             ***********************

Whats the diff between Dava Daru?

Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.

Desi Jokes Collection 2

July 31, 2009, 5:00 pm

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Ramu : Yeh "AUTOMATICALLY" kya hota hai

Bhola : Tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab AUTO mein koi Ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI

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Mahesh ko electric chair par bita kar mauth ki sazaa sunai gayi.

Jallad : Tumhari aakhri iccha kya he?

Mahesh : Mujech dar lag raha he, mere hath pakad lo.

You know your parents are desi when...Part 3

July 31, 2009, 5:00 pm

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You know your parents are desi when.......

1. They have one of these three cars, an Olds Cutlass Ciera, a Honda Accord or a Toyota Camry. (Sindhi's drive a Lexus or a Mercedes.)
2. When family friends come over, you have ten conversations going on in the same room at the same time very loudly.
3. You eat dinner on the floor covered with newspapers when company comes over.
4. Your parents tell you to not care what your friends think but they won't let you do certain things because of what the other "Uncles and Aunties" will think.
5. You've never owned white clothing because it will be hard to take stains out of it. (That's what mom says.)
6. You have a collection of used wrapping paper and bows that have been saved for re-use.
7. Your bio-data and picture have been circulated more than your resume.
8. Your parents won't let you attend college outside of your hometown because you might actually date members of the opposite sex!
   

You know your parents are desi when...Part 2

July 31, 2009, 5:00 pm

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You know your parents are desi when.......

1. The famous: "hamburger, no meat, water, no ice, 3 cups, and 18 ketchups please"
2. Talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house etc, etc.
3. Loading up the family car with as many indians as possible when it's a "pay per car" entrance fee.
4. Renting movies and splitting the cost with 2 other families and having the last family return it.
5. Taking 30-45 minutes deciding which indian movie to watch when it only costs 25 cents!...then asking for a refund when it sucks.
6. When you see a bath pail in a stand-up shower or tub
7. When everyone gets the same Christmas present...a "buy one get one free" special
8. When people show up late to a function...just in time for the food!
9. Plastic covers anything new in your parents' house whether it is the remote control to the VCR or the new livingroom couch.
10. Your parents only face straight when driving with both hands on the steering wheel and notice nothing but the road in front of them.
    

You know your parents are desi when...Part 1

July 31, 2009, 5:00 pm

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You know your parents are desi when.......

1. When your mom makes a Mexican meal and tells you to count the number of Taco Bell sauce packets in her purse.
2. They peel the stamps off letters that the postal service missed to mark up.
3. They buy 2-ply toilet paper and they tell you to use only 1 ply at a time to make it last.
4. When your mom comes home with napkins stuffed in her purse of the restaraunt she last ate at.
5. When you become part of that viscious clan who recycles wedding gifts-
6. Take Indian snacks anywhere it says "No food allowed"
7. Make kichdi on the beach wearing saris
8. Wear shorts with dress socks and tennis shoes
9. Try to use coupons that expired 5 months ago and argue when the store doesn't accept them, or simply tear off the expiration date
10. Eat half of a pizza at a restaurant and then complaining that it wasn't made right (I want refund!)
    

Desi Love Letter

July 31, 2009, 5:00 pm

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Johnny Mera Naam
Piya Ka Ghar
Choukee No. 11
Teesri Manzil
China Town
Bombay


Date: Nav Do Gyarah

My Dear 'Anamika':

You must be surprised to receive this 'Prem Patra' from me. Let me make my 'Pahechan' to you as 'Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge'. Though I am an 'Awaara', I am also your 'Deewana'.

I am making you a 'Prarthna' to enter my 'Zindagi' as a 'Priyatama'. Even though I do not have any 'Sambandh' with you, I still consider you as my 'Dream Girl' with 'Lal Dupatta Malmal Ka'. There are only 'Do Raaste' left for me. One is to get your love by 'Tyag' or to go the 'Rangeela' way.

Wouldn't you like to be 'Mere Jeevan Saathi' as you are 'Lakhon Mein Ek'? I also hope that you will 'Guide' me in 'Bahar' as we are made for 'Ek Duje Ke Liye'.

We will live in 'Naya Zamana' where we will have a 'Suhana Safar'. In this 'Himalay Ki God Mein', our 'Bandhan' is going to be tied with 'Preet Ki Dor'. I hope that we will have nothing but 'Anand' in 'Ye Dillagi'.

Aren't you bored of 'Akele Hum Akele Tum' life? Let this 'Baazigar' be your 'Boy Friend' and we start 'Pehli Mohabbat'. This 'Chahat' is going to lead to a 'Milan' where you are going to call me everyday for 'Aao Pyar Karen'.

Now, 'Phir Kab Miloge' as 'Tumse Accha Kaun Hein'? As you know my love is 'Himalay Se Uncha' and hopefully our 'Mulakat' will be 'An Evening in Paris'. 'Aa Gale Lag Jaa'!

'Hum Aapke Hain Koun...?'

'Prem Pujari'

Desi PJs

December 16, 2010, 4:00 pm

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DESI PJ's

Q: What did the Lonely Banana say?
A: I'm A"kela".

Q: What did the Green Peas say?
A: Nothing. They just "Mutter"ed.

Q:What did the Potato say when it answered the phone?
A: "Aaloo?"

Q: Where do Cauliflowers hang out?
A: In the Gobi desert.

Q: What did the Flower say to its Girl-friend?
A: Why do "Phools" fall in love?

Q: What did the confused Egg say?
A: I don't "Unda"-Stand.

Q: What do Shrimps sing on Christmas?
A: "Jhinga" Bells.

Q: What did the Half-eaten Naan say?
A: I wish I was a "Puri".

Q: What did the Lonely Potato sing?
A: "Aaloo lonesome tonight?"

Q: What Language do Carrots speak?
A: Gajar-ati.

Q: What did the first Pizza slice say to the other Pizza
slice so it would  move?
A: Pizza - "HUT

---

Hotel Keral-fonia

December 4, 2010, 4:00 pm

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HOTEL KERAL-FONIA

On the road to Trivandrum
Coconut oil in my hair
Warm smell of avial
Rising up through the air

Up ahead in the distance
I sew a bright pink tube-light
My tummy rumbled, l felt weak and thin
I had to stop for a bite

There he stood in the doorway
Flicked his mundu in style
And l was thinking to myself

I don't like look of his sinister smile
Then he lit up a petromax
Muttering "No Power today"
More Mallus down the corridor
I thought I heard them say

Welcome to the Hotel Kerala
Such a lousy place, (such a lousy place etc.) .

Cow on the tracks

December 4, 2010, 4:00 pm

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A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally  it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a TT walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out of the window.

'Cow on the track!" replies the TT'.

Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes however, it stops again. The woman sees the same TT walk by again. She leans out the window and yells,

'What happened? Did we catchup vvith the cow again?'

Lord Indra and the Sindhi

December 4, 2010, 4:00 pm

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Once Lord Indra arranged a meeting of all Indian Community leaders. One by one he was receiving every Community Leader, every time one community leader came, Indra respectfully stood up and greeted them. When it was the Sindhi leaders turn Indra didn't get up and quickly said "Ok Ok! Nice to meet you! Go and take your seat!"

Now everybody was surprised that Indra respected every community except the Sindhi Leader who represented the cream of business society.
Out of curiosity someone asked "Lord Indra, Why is it you showed respect for everyone except the Sindhi Leader? You never stood up for him?"

Lord lndra replied, 'l respect him but if I stand up and greet him he will sit on my chair?